计算方法:
先将女人的名字转换成拼音，再依照“拼音符号对照表”所列的数字，合计 出名字的合计数，再用这个合计数的末尾数字就可以对照出是属于什么水果的了。
如果算出的结果为10或末尾数为0的话，就属于第10种“芒果”型。
举例：“姚建静”转换为(yaojianjing)=1+1+3+2+2+1+3+2+2+3+1=21,末尾数为1，属于苹果型。
拼音符号对照表:
a（1） b（2） c（2） d （2） e（2） f （3） g（1） h（2） i（2） j（2） k（2） l（1） m（2） n（3） o （3） p（3） q（3） r（3） s（2） t（2） u（2） v（2） w（1） x（3） y（1） z（2）
水果类型
末尾数1=苹果
末尾数2=荔枝
末尾数3=水蜜桃
末尾数4=橘子
末尾数5=葡萄
末尾数6=香蕉
末尾数7=草莓
末尾数8=菠萝
末尾数9=猕猴桃
末尾数0=芒果
以下列举10种水果女人的婚爱拼盘，欢迎大家对号入座。
Apple1 苹果女人
白皙红润的肌肤是迷人的地方，就是胖胖的也很可爱，不是吗？
情感深厚且温和，让周遭的人备感温馨。喜欢小孩，又会做家事，有可能成为十足的好妈妈。
由于性格比较保守，因此衣着打扮倾向成熟的职业装，比较易得到年纪比自己小 的男子的信赖。
善于理财，精打细算的头脑，像是装了电子计算机。做事认真且专注，是个受到 称赞拼命实干的职员。
不背叛另一半，对感情诚恳忠实，持中庸之道享受平稳的人生。 6park.com
苹果女人一般女友较多，外遇少。就像电车，绝对很少出轨。她们很少有石破天 惊的爱情，平淡的生活也许让她感觉婚姻像是闷罐车，所以夫妻会在争吵中稳固关系。
切记：偶尔跨出保守，尝试良性的冒险。
Lichee2. 荔枝女人
是最懂得享受的女人。富有艺术家气质并天生就懂得如何把自己的独特气质散发出来的荔枝女人，是红色的法拉利，最好看了，实用吗？不知道。荔枝女人一生难逃曲高和寡的人生际遇。她出众但很少从众，无论在服饰打扮还是思想意识上都是如此。
善于整理事物，是个要求严苛的人，有相当严重的洁癖，是免洗马桶坐垫的忠实使用者。讨厌不爱干净的男人。因此，有许多是单身贵族。 6park.com
在交友和爱情上，坚守“宁缺毋滥”的原则。终于等到了属于自己的那杯爱尔兰咖啡，她会一直品下去。
Peach3. 水蜜桃女人
水蜜桃女人是发嗲和撒娇的高手。如果她想买件貂皮大衣，男人不答应，她就来个软硬兼施，不达目的绝不罢休！当软的失效，硬的上场，外加点儿咬一咬、打一打、拧一拧的动作，直到男人乖乖地点头为止。
水蜜桃女人是最有心机、心计的女人，她们像诡计多端的蜘蛛，精心地编织女性温柔的陷阱，捕获的猎物锁定那些能给她们生活品质升级的男人。她像出租车，到处 乱停，搭乘她的车记得买单就可以了。而脚踩多条船是水蜜桃女人的特长，能够把感情同时分给好几个人，真是小花心一个，所以经常上演没有结果的爱情短篇！
看似浮萍的水蜜桃女人，绝对不会因对方的猛烈求婚而贸然答应婚事。在选择结婚对象时，会倾向挑选有经济基础的，渴望结婚后过上衣食无忧的全职太太生
活。
切记：聪明反被聪明误。
切记：可以孤独，但勿封闭
Orange4. 橘子女人
个性明朗、开放的橘子女人，脸上总是浮现出阳光般的笑容，120的开朗度和自信度让她不管走到哪里，都能成为最受瞩目的焦点，结交一堆的朋友。她是观光车，和她在一起有时像度假般轻松，有时又像坐疯狂过山车一般刺激。
便服也好、盛装也罢，随意打扮都能出彩儿。她不是时尚先锋，但却始终懂得在自己身上点缀一两点流行元素——“不要那么多，只要一点点”。
酸酸甜甜的橘子女人是最具野蛮女友(太太)潜质的女人，“因为可爱，所以野蛮”，让男人欲罢不能。聚会中常会有恋情发生。忽冷忽热没定性的心，只有三分钟热度的嗜好一大堆。
切记：爱慕虚荣，喜欢被人宠着，若不收敛些，有可能失去朋友或者成为同事妒忌的对象！
Grape5. 葡萄女人
柔和的葡萄紫色，代表着关心，给人安全感；而葡萄的一粒一粒代表着一点一滴，无微不至，虽不起眼，却叫人回味深长。
是随着年龄的增长越来越丰富的女人，天生的乐天派，认为“明天永远比今天好”。青春对于她是酸涩的，自信和快乐是随着岁月的增长而弥增的。
她知道在自己最好的时候选择一份成熟的爱情，然后坚定地将爱情进行到底。她们一般都晚婚，即使结婚也像在谈恋爱。
葡萄女人是公共汽车，按时发车、到站停车。聪明敏锐，充满求知欲。即使结婚生子，同样对自己的事业和爱好保持一份好奇与恒心。表面上看她圆润、水灵，其实有自己的内涵，那就是一份游刃有余的事业。
一个爱她的丈夫，一个可爱的孩子，一份游刃有余的工作构成她三足鼎立的完满人生。
切记：自满。
Banana6. 香蕉女人
香蕉黏糊，保鲜期短，容易腐烂。香蕉女人依赖性强，独立性差。她是自行车，你不踩，她准停下来。凡事总爱依赖别人，不自己决定，有时会成为别人的大包袱。
她们一般从父母手里挣脱后就来到了丈夫手里，一生跨不出3门——父母家门、夫家门、墓地门。
她们通常胆小怕事。婚姻是她生活的支点，那个男人是杠杆。命运好的话，找到一棵大树一样的男人安度一生；际遇不好的话，丈夫中途另有新欢让她“下车”，她不是寻死觅活就是沦为新怨妇。
香蕉女人青春期短，更年期长。一生缺乏安全感。
切记：独立自主，自力更生。
Strawberry7. 草莓女人
草莓女人有自信，具魅力，爱做梦，是圣诞老人的马车。
打从心底里相信并追求完美的爱情。感受性很丰富而且善于编织美梦，所以容易让自己沉浸于象牙塔中。
切记：你的缺点是没有耐性，因为一直支持着你的是抽象的自信心，所以一旦事情的发展无法如预期般进展时，就会突然中断放弃。
Pineapple8. 菠萝女人
菠萝女人体态丰腴，令人不知不觉地想倚靠过去。鲜黄色的菠萝加上它绿色的叶子，大概没有人会说不好看，但是菠萝周身都带刺，要叫人小心翼翼。远观无害，靠近有伤。菠萝女人是碰碰车，为人处世十分讲究原则和分寸。
菠萝女人的婚姻观是追求自由，相互尊重，多给对方一些空间。对菠萝女人来说，婚姻是一种甜蜜的负荷。因此菠萝女人痛恨那种处处注重长幼有序的关系，骨子里有一种颠覆传统的叛逆气息。
切记：过度的自我保护可能错失爱的机缘。
Chinese Goosebeery9. 猕猴桃女人
猕猴桃英文是kiwifruit，用粤语翻译过来是“奇异果”的意思。她们通常外柔内刚，平凡的仪表下掩藏着一颗不平凡的心。
如果不是主动出击，她们很少能得到理想的爱情。他娶她的时候有些不那么情 愿，但婚后才发现是“手里的宝”。
猕猴桃女人旺夫，她一边操持家务一边为丈夫出谋划策，让丈夫的事业在她的协助下螺旋上升、蒸蒸日上。
这个相貌普通，不化妆、不美容也不减肥的女人可以把一个工薪阶层的家过得有声有色。猕猴桃女人是人力车，实惠踏实。
切记：自卑是你一生的敌人。
Mango10 芒果女人
芒果的样子实在可爱，但吃到最后发现实在是肉少核大。
芒果女人要么本身就强，要么自己要强，独立意识浓厚甚至有些刚愎自用。她们雷厉风行，是事业的宠儿，敢与男人在商场上拼杀，无论在工作、生活上都要争取第 一、最好。
是主动买单的女人，恋爱过程中她们会不吝于“倒贴”，适合“姐弟恋”。
容易发怒。不屑的眼神和那张喜欢挖苦别人的嘴，常使得周遭的人被那如机关枪般发射出来的言词打得稀里哗啦。
芒果女人是凯迪拉克轿车，没有一定信心、耐心和实力的男人甭想踏上她的“客船”。
她在建构自己的婚姻生活时，常按照自己的理想来选择结婚对象。婚姻生活中充满了冷静和原则。
切记：减少情绪风暴发生的次数，你的人生更美好。
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
Saturday, February 26, 2005
2005 Horoscope
Aries in 2005 - Flexibility
If you want a motto for 2005, the best one to adopt would be "go with the flow." 2005 will be a year of ups and downs, and only the flexible will be able to keep from going crazy! All Aries natives may have to tighten their belts and curb their
desire for constant expansion. You may need to play it cool and curb your spending.You'll be among the first to seize upon new societal trends to create new opportunities for yourself, as your creativity will be at an all-time high. You will be more eloquent and persuasive than usual, and others will identify enthusiastically with your vision. If you want to start a new creative project or business venture,your imagination will be working overtime. 2005 could find you
doing well career-wise - and aspiring to climb even higher.
If you want a motto for 2005, the best one to adopt would be "go with the flow." 2005 will be a year of ups and downs, and only the flexible will be able to keep from going crazy! All Aries natives may have to tighten their belts and curb their
desire for constant expansion. You may need to play it cool and curb your spending.You'll be among the first to seize upon new societal trends to create new opportunities for yourself, as your creativity will be at an all-time high. You will be more eloquent and persuasive than usual, and others will identify enthusiastically with your vision. If you want to start a new creative project or business venture,your imagination will be working overtime. 2005 could find you
doing well career-wise - and aspiring to climb even higher.
Taurus in 2005 - Tenacity
"Diligence" is the key word for you, Taurus. With hard work and focus, you will
attain at least one important aspiration that has been on your agenda for a long
time. This is the year you'll want to take stock of your career and ask yourself
if you're doing the work you want to do for the rest of your life. As the year
progresses, the more impressive your ideas and works become. As a result, your
finances improve - and your newfound confidence could attract new love into your
life. By the end of the year, you will have a whole new network of friends and group
activity, stimulating new ideas and taking up your social life a notch or two.
Gemini in 2005 - Success
Your cycle of learning through the school of hard knocks has come to an end, Gemini,
and now you're going to start reaping the rewards these "lessons" have left in their
wake. As 2005 progresses, the road ahead will become clearer. You now have
it in you to create the kind of life for yourself that you want. These leaps and
bounds forward include love and creativity. Your learning of concepts of all kinds
combines with extensive group activity,bringing your mind into a whole new space this
year.By the end of 2005 you'll have a whole new start with regard to your career and
your earning potential - and a possible new partnership to top it off!
Cancer in 2005 - Balance
Finding a balance between your personal and professional lives may be one of the
year's strongest challenges. For the most part, your outward life this year will go
in fits and starts -alternating periods of intense activity with times of welcome
rest. Enjoy the restful periods when you can. The active ones will be
hectic! You'll be making radical changes in your work habits, but you'll be a lot
happier for it, and in the end you'll know it was worth it. Your love life is full,
and any dissatisfaction with career and money matters fades into the background.
By the end of 2005, you'll feel more confident, more determined,and far more capable
of making the mountains come to you!
Leo in 2005 - Abundance
Pursuing a successful career, along with the usual social and financial advantages,
will be easier thisyear than it has in a long time for you, Leo! The most difficult
thing might be deciding which path means the most to you, and where to put your
focus. You'll be able to create opportunities for advancement almost out of thin air.
Romance in 2005 will make it a year to remember - and you'll be the envy of all your
friends. Love comes willingly and easily. Money may suddenly become tight at
a very inconvenient time. Yet, this is no comparison to the advancements you'll make
overall, and by the end of 2005, you'll look back in sheer wonder and happiness.
Virgo in 2005 - Perseverance
Your working life might not go so smoothly this year, Virgo. For much of 2005,
you'll be putting your nose to the grindstone. On the bright side, your finances
will be pretty stable. Just don't take it for granted - you still need to be
cautious this year. Your love life will thrive for most of the year, and any
relationship begun or reaffirmed in 2005 is very likely to be a lasting one.
And, you're going to develop a hopeless romantic streak. In spite of a lot of worry
over your career, by the year's end, you'll see that 2005 has filled your life with
prosperity and accomplishments.
Libra in 2005 - Expansion
Flex your muscles, friend Libra, and prepare for a relatively easy ride.With
beneficent Jupiter in your sign, this is definitely your year, especially where your
social life is concerned. Happiness and enjoyment lie ahead. If you're not presently
married, and want to be, you just might wed by the end of the year. This is the year
you're going to be doing a lot of travel and learning about your world,as expansion
is the theme. The one department of life that may not quite be as hopeful as you'd
like could be your career, where advancement may be slow and satisfaction rare.
By year's end, you may find yourself seriously considering a major change - all for
the best.
Scorpio in 2005 - Transmutation
Scorpio, you can still expect changes - perhaps major ones - in your life this year,
almost to the point of total transformation. While this is most
apparent in the area of your career, you'll see it showing up in other important
aspects of your life.Your life might take on an entirely new direction you've never
dreamed of. You may also change your residence during the year. Whether you start
the year as a single person looking for a partner, or you've been married for many
years, happiness inlove does lie ahead. Be prepared for new horizons.They may not be
familiar, but they will be fascinating. Don't cling to the banks; instead, flow with
the tide in 2005.
Sagittarius in 2005 - Empowerment
Are you prepared to handle absolute power? If not,you will be soon! Your ruling
planet, Jupiter, will be in a special relationship with Pluto - called "mutual
reception" - in 2005. There's so much punch packed into this combination that it's
almost scary.You'll find the ultimate power is the ability to choose your own
destiny. You'll find practical ways of increasing your effectiveness in the world by
gaining new skills that allow you to live more abundantly. By the second half of the
year, you will finally feel welcome relief from the tight financial binds that have
hindered you over the past two years. And, a relationship you begin now will last a
very long time - like, for the rest of your life.Overall, 2005 is sure to be a year
you won't forget.
Capricorn in 2005 - Resolution
You've got plenty of lucky breaks headed your way in 2005, friend Capricorn.
The long awaited relief you've needed in your love life is around the corner,
and by the end of the year you will feel much clearer about your partnerships
in general.Financially, it could be a lean year, although some advance planning
can help you weather the storm.Your career opportunities will expand
exponentially,and you're likely to change jobs or positions this year. At times,
the pressure on your job and home life may seem unbearable, but rest assured you
will come through this stronger - and wiser - than ever,as more is revealed
and resolved in 2005.
Aquarius in 2005 - Magic
2005 sees you expanding your intuitive and psychic skills even more,
Aquarius. The mysteries of the universe continue to attract and intrigue
you, as you apply your mystical awareness to the important decisions
upcoming in your life, especially concerning partnerships of all kinds.
2005 is bound to bring at least one major success in the love department,
and your career will be brimming with new enthusiasm and innovation. Not
only that, but travel, adventure, and personal expansion infuse fresh
energy into all areas of your life. By year's end, your creative
decision-making will have carried you to whole new peaks - and a whole
new view from above.
Pisces in 2005 - Self-confidence
It's a big year for you, friend Pisces. No doubt, in 2005 you'll find
yourself pushed more and more out into the world. You'll experience a
new sense of purpose and make plenty of new friends. Expect lots of
surprises and lucky breaks this year, with Uranus bringing the unexpected
in your career, your love life, and the world in general. At some point
during the year, you could pick up a financial windfall,hear of a great
career opportunity, or unexpectedly meet the love of your life. It's
important that you take retreats and plenty of time for yourself to
regenerate, as the rate of change in your personal and professional life
will be fast and unpredictable. Remain calm and confident, and love
is very likely to flourish in 2005. "Expect the unexpected," and enjoy the ride!
Thursday, February 24, 2005
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ching is a poem
ching is made up of 64 hexagrams
ching is in
ching is both of those things
ching is a fairly simple process of finding an answer that is applicable to a particular personal problem
ching is an ancient chinese oracle that provides an oriental philosophical perspective to give insight on situations and problems
ching is the only complete oracle system coming down to us
ching is a wise ancient method used to reveal the hidden world that underlies your existence
ching is the world's oldest known book
ching is both a divination oracle that illuminates the opportunities of the present time
ching is the most famous and translated work from the taoist inheritance
ching is an ancient system of philosophy dating back to the origins of chinese civilization
ching is built on the premise that there exist opposing force in the universe
ching is yet unknown
ching is one of the eldest systems which has been kept undamaged over the centuries since more then 3000 years
ching is a book of truths
ching is the central character in many of the works stout has created
ching is a lot more than just a book
ching is probably the most influential chinese book of all times
ching is interested in your motives and inner concerns
ching is attributed to the indian priest
ching is one of the oldest and continuously read philosophical texts on the planet
ching is a world
ching is only a couple hundred years old green snake
ching is divination
ching is primal
ching is anything more
ching is considered the oldest scripture in chinese culture and respected as the progenitor of all writings
ching is one of the 5 main books of ancient and time
ching is a 3000 year old chinese oracle
ching is the first new translation of this ancient art
Man?Woman?
Your Brain is 46.67% Female, 53.33% Male |
Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female You are both sensitive and savvy Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve |
What age do I act?
You Are 21 Years Old |
21 Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax. |
I am Malaysian
You Know You're Malaysian When.... |
You complain about the quality of the pirated DVD you just purchased. "What, RM10 for DVD5?! Aiyah, boss ... sound no good, cheaperlah ..." You're willing to consume sambal petai and durian and gladly suffer the bloating and wind-breaking incidents. You're exceedingly polite to the Mat Sallehs but you slag your own kind. "Hello, sir. Why don't you sit here, it’s got the best view of the city skyline." But, "Aunty-ah, your table is over there next to the kitchen." You order Maggi goreng and fried chicken, complain about how oily the food is, and then proceed to finish it anyway. You love to talk about food. You're already thinking about what to have for dinner while eating lunch. "I'm stuffed. What shall we have for dinner?" You dive into a communal-style meal the moment the dish lands on the table only to hesitate at the last morsel of food on the serving dish. There are two possible explanations for this: the first is the pai seh (embarrassed) factor, while the other is the myth that the person who eats the last piece will be a spinster. You hit the accelerator the moment the first drop of rain hits your windshield. "Alamak, it's going to rain. Sure traffic jam one. I'd better drive faster." You seize the opportunity to make a U-turn anywhere ... especially where there is a sign telling you not to. Well, so long as the cops aren't in sight. You feel a burning desire to send text messages and even have the gall to give your friend a blow-by-blow account of the movie to your friend on the handphone — during the screening of the movie. "Okay, now that girl Lizzie is impersonating an Italian singer; she so doesn’t look Italian ..." You forsake your loved ones for the all-important four letter-word: S-A-L-E. "Sorry, mum, I can't take you to Aunt Mary’s because I have to go to MidValley before the crowd." You’re also more than happy to be part of the insane traffic jam that forms around malls during weekends and sale periods. 11. Reality shows Akademi Fantasia and Malaysian Idol dictate your social life. "What, no TV at the mamak? Count me out — I'm staying home. Rinie needs my support." You pepper every sentence with lah. "No-lah, I can't see you today-lah. I have to study-lah. You know-lah, the prison warden aka mak is watching me like a hawk" You fail to function normally without your daily dose of teh tarik and nasi lemak. You have owned at least one Proton in your lifetime. Cheap, cheap. That is until you start to make enough dough to buy that Honda you've been salivating over. You slow down at an accident site to take down the car number plate, but won't step out of your car to help — the victim could be a robber! You'd rather park your car along the main road outside the mall, where there's a yellow line, rather than pay RM1 to park inside where there are adequate bays. You plead, bat your eyelids and relate a sob story to the officer at the town council office to let you off the hook (or reduce the amount considerably) for the fine you incurred when you parked your car on the double line. You make an appointment for 10am and conveniently show up a half hour late — Malaysian time, what ... You pop open the wet tissue packet at the Chinese restaurant by squeezing the trapped air to the top of the packet before proceeding to smash your fist into it. The louder the pop the better. You greet your friend / neighbor / acquaintance on the street with "How are things?" or "Have you eaten?" or better yet, by stating the obvious: "Went to market ah?" Ramlee burger is the "piece de resistance" of your growing-up-years cuisine. You catch all major televised events at the mamak. You have roughly six meals a day (breakfast, mid-morning tea, lunch, afternoon tea, dinner and supper). Then there's the snacking — keropok ikan, pisang goreng, muruku, jam tarts and the like. You get the whole family dressed to the nines, jump into the car and head for the minister's open house — and ask for styrofoam boxes and plastic bags to tar pau food. Your accent and language style vary according to the race of the person you are conversing with. You've got a friendly disposition. Smiles are abundant and your "Apa khabar?" is warm and sincere. You exclaim loudly how expensive everything is, even though the items may in fact be going for a steal. "Wah! So expensive, ah? Hak sei ngor (Scare me to death)!" You dig deep into your pockets to contribute to the latest appeal for donations in the newspapers. You "dis" our country all the time, but as soon as something good happens (like winning the Thomas Cup), you morph into a proud Malaysian. You never travel abroad without a bottle of chilli sauce, or sachets which you can sneak into restaurants. You're proud to be Malaysian - and you pass these jokes on to all your Malaysian friends! |
-- My Personality --
You Have A Type B+ Personality |
B+ You're a pro at going with the flow You love to kick back and take in everything life has to offer A total joy to be around, people crave your stability. While you're totally laid back, you can have bouts of hyperactivity. Get into a project you love, and you won't stop until it's done You're passionate - just selective about your passions |
~ My Attitude ~
How Your Attitude Ranks |
Your Attitude is Better than 80% of the Population If you scored... 80-100: You've got a winner attitude. You're always optimistic and cheery. Your personality will get you far in life. 60-79: You have a good attitude. While a realist, you do see the positive side of most things. People love to be around you. 40 - 59: You have a positive attitude... somtimes. You prefer to see the world through clear glasses, not rose colored ones. 20 - 39: You have an average attitude. You take the good and bad in life as they come. Though sometimes you could use a little more good. 0-19: You have a negative attitude. You tend to see the dark side of every situation. Free ice cream? No thanks, it will just make you fat! |
Friday, February 18, 2005
The Other side of easy
Initial Responses To Difficult Days
NO WARNING SIGNS AHEAD...
They often come unannounced.
No warning.
No time to prepare.
Our normal, everyday world is invaded by an intruder we
didn't seek, don't want to know, and will soon wish we had
never met.
These unwelcome "guests" break into our lives in a variety
of ways. One may choose to enter through the door of our
family physician's office with an unanticipated diagnosis.
Another intruder may trespass our personal space by means
of a phone call about a family member or close friend.
While these "guests" may introduce themselves to us in any
number of ways, what they lead us to is always the same.
They lead us to *difficult times.* Times I have come to
label as...
"The other side of easy."
I'm no expert in dealing with tragedy -- believe me.
I have, however, made some observations about how myself and
others have tried to cope in the early days when tragedy
strikes.
I will list a few of these observations for you below. I
wrote them down within a few weeks after my wife received
a phone from our daughter while we were driving home from a
short trip we had taken for the day. Her call began with:
"Mom, are you driving? If you are, maybe you had better
pull over."
Our own "special guest" had come to pay us a visit.
My observations are...
WE DO WHAT WE NEED TO DO FIRST
*Immediate needs take front row seats in our world.
*Needs of all kinds can -- and should -- dictate what
what we do. People needs receive the highest priority.
"Is everyone okay?"
"What can I do to help?"
"Do you need anything?"
*Schedules are readjusted. Day by day phone calls
may not be made. Trips may need to be planned.
WE LOOK FOR WHATEVER IS GOOD, POSITIVE AND
VALUABLE IN THE WORLD
Tragedy is ugly. People are hurting. Physical and
emotional "staying powers" are stretched to the limits.
But in the midst of it all, it is good to realize that...
*There are good people in the world
*There is "good" in the world
It is helpful to acknowledge and appreciate both: good
people and "the good." My tragedy doesn't negate what is
true. Rather, it seems to be helpful to affirm these truths.
WE EXPECT NOTHING LESS THAN REALITY FROM OURSELVES
We expect the high moments. Moments when we are functioning
pretty well. We are coping.
But then again, we also expect low moments. Moments of
discouragement, perplexity or fear.
And we also expect a wide range of both: high and low
moments in what could be considered rapid succession.
We call this..."dealing with reality." It's okay.
WE MAKE ADJUSTMENTS AS NEEDED AND KEEP GOING FORWARD
Activity is good: the more normal, the better.
I don't expect to produce at my "top level."
However, neither do I presume that I will work at my lowest
possible level.
I need to adjust. To flex. And keep going forward.
I need to do the best I can within the confines of my
physical and emotional state -- but keep doing what needs to
be done on a daily basis.
There is a good measure of truth in the old statement: "Life
must go on."
WE LAUGH
Laughter and good humor -- each has its place during the sad
times we face. They help us gain a sense of balance.
Light moments tend to assist us in dealing with the pain.
And, those lighter moments are "okay."
WE SEE HOPE
Because there are good people in the world, we see hope in
them. They help, pitch in, care, and pray.
Because of our own experiences that we have had to walk
through in life, we can see hope in ourselves and our
ability to deal with bad things that happen to us.
Because of who God is and how He has worked in our lives,
we have hope. Hope in His strength, guidance and goodness.
IF I WERE TO TURN THESE OBSERVATIONS AROUND...
And make them into a set of personal suggestions to help
in the initial moments of difficult times, they would be:
*Do what you need to do first. Do whatever it takes.
*Look for good in people and in the world.
*Have realistic expectations about yourself and
others during those times.
*Make whatever adjustments you need to make and
strive to keep moving forward as much as
possible.
*Allow humor and laughter into your world. It's
okay to laugh.
*Don't lose hope. See hope in others, in yourself
and in God.
Wherever You Are, Be There
Wherever You Are, Be There
One of the major reasons why we fail to find
happiness or to create a unique lifestyle is because
we have not yet mastered the art of being.
While we are home our thoughts are still absorbed
with solving the challenges we face at the office.
And when we are at the office we find ourselves
worrying about problems at home.
We go through the day without really listening to
what others are saying to us. We may be hearing
the words, but we aren't absorbing the message.
As we go through the day we find ourselves
focusing on past experiences or future possibilities.
We are so involved in yesterday and tomorrow that
we never even notice that today is slipping by.
We go through the day rather than getting
something from the day. We are everywhere at any
given moment in time except living in that moment
in time.
Lifestyle is learning to be wherever you are.
It is developing a unique focus on the current
moment, and drawing from it all of the substance
and wealth of experience and emotions that it has
to offer.
Lifestyle is taking time to watch a sunset.
Lifestyle is listening to silence.
Lifestyle is capturing each moment so that it
becomes a new part of what we are and of what
we are in the process of becoming.
Lifestyle is not something we do; it is something we
experience. And until we learn to be there, we will
never master the art of living well.
To Your Success,
Jim Rohn
One of the major reasons why we fail to find
happiness or to create a unique lifestyle is because
we have not yet mastered the art of being.
While we are home our thoughts are still absorbed
with solving the challenges we face at the office.
And when we are at the office we find ourselves
worrying about problems at home.
We go through the day without really listening to
what others are saying to us. We may be hearing
the words, but we aren't absorbing the message.
As we go through the day we find ourselves
focusing on past experiences or future possibilities.
We are so involved in yesterday and tomorrow that
we never even notice that today is slipping by.
We go through the day rather than getting
something from the day. We are everywhere at any
given moment in time except living in that moment
in time.
Lifestyle is learning to be wherever you are.
It is developing a unique focus on the current
moment, and drawing from it all of the substance
and wealth of experience and emotions that it has
to offer.
Lifestyle is taking time to watch a sunset.
Lifestyle is listening to silence.
Lifestyle is capturing each moment so that it
becomes a new part of what we are and of what
we are in the process of becoming.
Lifestyle is not something we do; it is something we
experience. And until we learn to be there, we will
never master the art of living well.
To Your Success,
Jim Rohn
How to Let Go
When you have to get over it, a lot of times it feels impossible. You go to google, you search for broken heart quotes, hoping that will make it better. Most of them only increase your emotional suffering. I had to write my own in order to claw my way out of the pain. I'll put my heartbreak quotes in bold so they'll stand out. You try this approach on. You'll see, the following suggestions, when taken, work within two weeks to greatly reduce your suffering:
Realize that part of what hurts is not reality. It's the pain of losing the picture you've kept creating in your own mind of how wonderful things would be if he/she'd just get over that other woman/man, be ready for commitment, get a job, quit the bottle, or whatever.
CHOOSE to create different pictures.
All of us find certain types of people, certain behaviors, and certain looks repulsive. Each of us has our own, personal list. Put yours down on paper. Then, every time you miss him/her, and every time you go to the bathroom... picture the one you miss so terribly and whom you've already figured out isn't coming back with a row of festering zits all around their __________ (insert their feature you love best here). Picture them with a greasy, sleazy personality, hawking lugies at your mother's church. Picture it in full color, include sound, odors, details. You own your brain. It believes whatever pictures you create regularly. Create pictures that help you get over rather than pictures that prevent getting over.
And, by all means... stop listening to tearjerking, obsessive songs. You know the ones... "I can't live without you, breathe without you, dance without you. I can't get over you, stop loving you, etc." That's bull! That's the way the songwriter felt the day he wrote that song. For all you know, he got over it the next day, and here you are, clinging to the words like they're going to help! Maybe you feel like your love wasn't real if you don't hurt really, really bad for a long, long time. Or, just possibly, all those obsessive songs have convinced you that unrequited love is romantic. BULL!
Cuddling up with someone is romantic. Hurting for months or years after someone is long gone is just foolish. Listen to Mariah Carey's A Hero, Destiny's Child I'm a Survivor, Gloria Gaynor's I will survive, Enrique Iglesias' I Will Survive, Alabama's You Can't Keep a Good Man Down, Ronnie Milsap's Like a Button off of my Shirt, Desirree's You Gotta Be every day, all day long. Make those "getting over" pictures in your head every time you think of him/her, and then just see if you don't feel less obsessed two weeks from now. In the meantime, check out these emotional pain-killers.
Always remember that pain is necessary and suffering is optional. It's always YOUR choice.
Sunday, February 06, 2005
"14 WAYS TO BE HAPPY"
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Saturday, February 05, 2005
12 Ways To Be Happy
12 Ways To Be Happy:
1. Make up your mind to be happy. Learn to find pleasure in simple things.
2. Make the best of your circumstances. No one has everything, and everyone has
something of sorrow intermingled with gladness of life. The trick is to make the
laughter outweigh the tears.
3. Don't take yourself too seriously. Don't think that somehow you should be
protected from misfortune that befalls other people.
4. You can't please everybody. Don't let criticism worry you.
5. Don't let your neighbor set your standards. Be yourself.
6. Do the things you enjoy doing but stay out of debt.
7. Never borrow trouble. Imaginary things are harder to bear than real ones.
8. Since hate poisons the soul, do not cherish jealousy, Avoid people who make you
unhappy.
9. Have many interests. If you can't travel, read about new places.
10.Don't hold postmortems. Don't spend your time brooding over sorrows or
mistakes. Don't be one who never gets over things.
11. Do what you can for those less fortunate than yourself.
12. Keep busy at something. A busy person never has time to be unhappy.
something of sorrow intermingled with gladness of life. The trick is to make the
laughter outweigh the tears.
3. Don't take yourself too seriously. Don't think that somehow you should be
protected from misfortune that befalls other people.
4. You can't please everybody. Don't let criticism worry you.
5. Don't let your neighbor set your standards. Be yourself.
6. Do the things you enjoy doing but stay out of debt.
7. Never borrow trouble. Imaginary things are harder to bear than real ones.
8. Since hate poisons the soul, do not cherish jealousy, Avoid people who make you
unhappy.
9. Have many interests. If you can't travel, read about new places.
10.Don't hold postmortems. Don't spend your time brooding over sorrows or
mistakes. Don't be one who never gets over things.
11. Do what you can for those less fortunate than yourself.
12. Keep busy at something. A busy person never has time to be unhappy.
Friday, February 04, 2005
'Discounting' made simple
Back by popular demand, Mike Howson hires Holmes and Watson to investigate the topic of discounting, relevant for ACCA paper 3.6
'I say, Holmes,’ said Watson at breakfast one morning, ‘how is it that accountants can foretell the future, whereas the rest of us can’t?’
‘What the deuce are you talking about, Watson?’ said Holmes, taking the new hookah pipe out of his mouth. ‘You must give me more to work on.’
‘Well, an old friend of mine, Bungee Jumper, dropped in at the club yesterday and showed me the accounts for one of his investments. They showed much lower profits than he had expected and, consequently, a lower dividend. It appeared that an important asset had been written down - I think the expression he used was ‘impaired’. He showed me the relevant note to the accounts and it said that the future cashflows to be generated by this asset had been discounted and compared with its book value; as the book value was greater, the asset had to be written down. But it’s dashed confusing how these chaps can work out what cashflows an asset can generate in the future.’
‘Watson, there are four separate issues here,’ said Holmes, taking a puff on his hookah. ‘The first is the estimation of the future cashflows generated by an activity. Accountants have extensive experience of business activities and think that reasonable estimates can be made.’
‘But surely, Holmes, there are too many examples of where the estimates have proved to be hopelessly wrong? The Channel tunnel, the Humber Bridge and the Scottish Parliament are just a few. The latter reputedly came in at ten times over budget.’
‘That is true, Watson, but those figures were not for the published financial statements. They were used as the basis for extracting money from lenders such as banks. The accounting profession now seems to think that such estimates can be shown on the Balance Sheet as the basis of valuations and that the auditor will accept them as true and fair. Various recent accounting standards require accountants to be reasonably certain as to the measurement of such figures. But, can an investment analyst rely on such figures when calculating accounting ratios? The advice that he will give must be flawed and will inevitably lead to financial problems.’
‘That seems only natural, Holmes.’
After another puff, Holmes continued.
‘The second issue concerns the interest rate to be used to discount the future cashflows. The principle is elementary and in some cases is a perfectly valid way of dealing with items in the accounts of a business. A good example is a lease to acquire a new machine. The total payments are known and so is the price that would have been charged if the item had been bought for cash. The difference is the total interest charge. And, because the period of the lease and all of the cashflows are known, it is possible to calculate the rate of interest that has been used in the lease contract. Is that clear so far, Watson?’
‘Yes, but I don’t see how it relates to Bungee’s situation.’
‘With the liability under a lease, the payments are known and so is the rate of interest. However, with any other future liability, assuming that the funds set aside to pay it off will be invested, what is the rate of interest that the investments will earn? Of course, if the rate of interest is known, it is possible to work backwards to find out what amount must be set aside. This amount is known as the present value of the future liability. The process is known as discounting and can also be applied to future cashflows generated by an asset to arrive at a valuation of that asset, as has been done in Bungee’s case.’
‘But, Holmes, how does one know what the interest rate will be in future years?’
‘Exactly, Watson. It has to be estimated. And, furthermore, it is unlikely to remain constant. The UK accounting standard on the subject of impairment, which you mentioned earlier on, says that “the discount rate should be an estimate of the rate that the market would expect on an equally risky investment and should be a pre-tax rate’. The international standard says that ‘the discount rate shall be a pre-tax rate that reflects current market assessments of the time value of money and the risks specific to the asset”. This is a highly subjective matter as it difficult to assess the level of risk. And, incidentally, not all economists agree that it should be a pre-tax rate.’
Holmes paused, took a puff and sat back, waiting for the feeling of elation to subside before he continued.
’The third issue concerns present values. No project is undertaken in isolation and there are also likely to be surplus funds which should be invested. The proportions of all of these are constantly changing and therefore the overall interest rate used, averaged or whatever, will vary from year to year as well as from month to month. Accountants should at least consider the use of net terminal values. The final issue concerns what accountants are making the Balance Sheet into. While historical cost accounting shows the unexpired costs of a business’s assets, it never tries to show the value of the business, as this is such a subjective area that it is not possible to do so to everyone’s satisfaction. The value of a business can never be determined from an examination of its Balance Sheet, whatever convention is applied, and it is a waste of time to try. Furthermore, any attempt at valuation will involve a cost that businesses should be allowed to avoid. Admittedly, some estimations are made, such as for provisions for depreciation and liabilities, but these should be as prudent as possible.’
‘Holmes, it seems to me that there are too many estimates being made here. If these are the basis for the figures in the Balance Sheet, how can a shareholder possibly use the published financial statements as a basis for deciding whether he should hold on to his shares or sell them, let alone for an investment analyst to do more complex calculations?’
‘That is correct, Watson. There is so much subjectivity with estimates that there should be a health warning on the financial statements, although it must be said that some estimates are unavoidable, such as of the lives of the fixed assets. The real mystery is why the accounting profession relies so heavily on present values. It seems to me that this will end up rather like the Hans Christian Andersen story of the Emperor’s new clothes. That reminds me, we are meeting Lord Gulliball at noon. He has been rather led astray by an old adversary of ours…’
'I say, Holmes,’ said Watson at breakfast one morning, ‘how is it that accountants can foretell the future, whereas the rest of us can’t?’
‘What the deuce are you talking about, Watson?’ said Holmes, taking the new hookah pipe out of his mouth. ‘You must give me more to work on.’
‘Well, an old friend of mine, Bungee Jumper, dropped in at the club yesterday and showed me the accounts for one of his investments. They showed much lower profits than he had expected and, consequently, a lower dividend. It appeared that an important asset had been written down - I think the expression he used was ‘impaired’. He showed me the relevant note to the accounts and it said that the future cashflows to be generated by this asset had been discounted and compared with its book value; as the book value was greater, the asset had to be written down. But it’s dashed confusing how these chaps can work out what cashflows an asset can generate in the future.’
‘Watson, there are four separate issues here,’ said Holmes, taking a puff on his hookah. ‘The first is the estimation of the future cashflows generated by an activity. Accountants have extensive experience of business activities and think that reasonable estimates can be made.’
‘But surely, Holmes, there are too many examples of where the estimates have proved to be hopelessly wrong? The Channel tunnel, the Humber Bridge and the Scottish Parliament are just a few. The latter reputedly came in at ten times over budget.’
‘That is true, Watson, but those figures were not for the published financial statements. They were used as the basis for extracting money from lenders such as banks. The accounting profession now seems to think that such estimates can be shown on the Balance Sheet as the basis of valuations and that the auditor will accept them as true and fair. Various recent accounting standards require accountants to be reasonably certain as to the measurement of such figures. But, can an investment analyst rely on such figures when calculating accounting ratios? The advice that he will give must be flawed and will inevitably lead to financial problems.’
‘That seems only natural, Holmes.’
After another puff, Holmes continued.
‘The second issue concerns the interest rate to be used to discount the future cashflows. The principle is elementary and in some cases is a perfectly valid way of dealing with items in the accounts of a business. A good example is a lease to acquire a new machine. The total payments are known and so is the price that would have been charged if the item had been bought for cash. The difference is the total interest charge. And, because the period of the lease and all of the cashflows are known, it is possible to calculate the rate of interest that has been used in the lease contract. Is that clear so far, Watson?’
‘Yes, but I don’t see how it relates to Bungee’s situation.’
‘With the liability under a lease, the payments are known and so is the rate of interest. However, with any other future liability, assuming that the funds set aside to pay it off will be invested, what is the rate of interest that the investments will earn? Of course, if the rate of interest is known, it is possible to work backwards to find out what amount must be set aside. This amount is known as the present value of the future liability. The process is known as discounting and can also be applied to future cashflows generated by an asset to arrive at a valuation of that asset, as has been done in Bungee’s case.’
‘But, Holmes, how does one know what the interest rate will be in future years?’
‘Exactly, Watson. It has to be estimated. And, furthermore, it is unlikely to remain constant. The UK accounting standard on the subject of impairment, which you mentioned earlier on, says that “the discount rate should be an estimate of the rate that the market would expect on an equally risky investment and should be a pre-tax rate’. The international standard says that ‘the discount rate shall be a pre-tax rate that reflects current market assessments of the time value of money and the risks specific to the asset”. This is a highly subjective matter as it difficult to assess the level of risk. And, incidentally, not all economists agree that it should be a pre-tax rate.’
Holmes paused, took a puff and sat back, waiting for the feeling of elation to subside before he continued.
’The third issue concerns present values. No project is undertaken in isolation and there are also likely to be surplus funds which should be invested. The proportions of all of these are constantly changing and therefore the overall interest rate used, averaged or whatever, will vary from year to year as well as from month to month. Accountants should at least consider the use of net terminal values. The final issue concerns what accountants are making the Balance Sheet into. While historical cost accounting shows the unexpired costs of a business’s assets, it never tries to show the value of the business, as this is such a subjective area that it is not possible to do so to everyone’s satisfaction. The value of a business can never be determined from an examination of its Balance Sheet, whatever convention is applied, and it is a waste of time to try. Furthermore, any attempt at valuation will involve a cost that businesses should be allowed to avoid. Admittedly, some estimations are made, such as for provisions for depreciation and liabilities, but these should be as prudent as possible.’
‘Holmes, it seems to me that there are too many estimates being made here. If these are the basis for the figures in the Balance Sheet, how can a shareholder possibly use the published financial statements as a basis for deciding whether he should hold on to his shares or sell them, let alone for an investment analyst to do more complex calculations?’
‘That is correct, Watson. There is so much subjectivity with estimates that there should be a health warning on the financial statements, although it must be said that some estimates are unavoidable, such as of the lives of the fixed assets. The real mystery is why the accounting profession relies so heavily on present values. It seems to me that this will end up rather like the Hans Christian Andersen story of the Emperor’s new clothes. That reminds me, we are meeting Lord Gulliball at noon. He has been rather led astray by an old adversary of ours…’
Is bigger really better in practice?
There’s no doubt that the extra compliance work brought on by Sarbanes Oxley, by the advent of International Financial Reporting Standards and by the general climate of anxiety created by high profile corporate collapses has translated into more work all round. Liz Loxton reports
More work and more jobs. The employment market for accountants at all levels and from all disciplines has been revitalised. And the gentle upturn in the UK economy has contributed to a growing sense that trainee accountants are no longer a ‘nice to have’ but essential to the growth of a firm.
With past cut backs in the number of training contracts being offered well and truly over, competition for partly qualified and qualified accountants is steep. PQs should in theory be in a strong position to negotiate better terms.
So if you are working in the world of practice, how does life compare between the small, medium and large firms? Pass asked the biggest - PricewaterhouseCoopers - and mid-tier firm Kingston Smith what they had to offer in terms of benefits, experience, exposure to senior clients and career development (see panel). We also talked to training partner Alan Knapp at Docklands-based small firm Littlejohn Frazer about the small firm experience.
On pay, there were some interesting differentiators. At PwC an ACA trainee would join (in London) on £23,500, while Kingston Smith offers £20,000 to £22,000. At PwC, that trainee will find their salary rise to £25,000 after 15 months. On qualification they would get a healthy hike in salary, up to £30,500. At Kingston Smith, a third-year trainee might already reach £29,000 during their third year.
In terms of training support, PwC like other big firms has a dedicated professional qualifications group, there to coach trainees through their first years, along with assistance from line managers and coaches. Kingston Smith offers a buddy systems as well as deploying senior staff as trainers and mentors. Both firms say they are committed to giving trainees a healthy level of responsibility throughout their three year contract.
And the bigger firms and the mid-tier are not the only ones offering well-rounded training contracts with good exposure to household name clients at senior level.
Alan Knapp says corporate governance measures like Sarbanes Oxley have in some cases conflicted the Big Four out of work, resulting in complex and varied work filtering down to smaller firms like Littlejohn Frazer. He says financial services in particular offers quite high levels of responsibility and varied experience, with taxation and accounting staff working closely together. This is good news, he says, as it gives trainees early exposure to the ways in which corporate governance issues can resonate throughout a client’s business.
He cites IFRS as an example. The massive amount of work involved will hone analytical skills and will also see accountants interpreting information and communicating the changes to clients at board level.
Even where trainees are working on apparently more day to day issues - helping clients with management accounting issues or payroll, for instance - means that they can gain a real breadth of experience and interact with senior clients. This kind of work also has the benefit of providing a career path for the trainees post qualification. The firm doesn’t keep all its trainees on once they have qualified and a number find their way to posts at client companies.
‘If you have someone who is a year three assignment leader - they are in the face of the client, demonstrating strong technical skills and team leadership skills. It’s quite a testament to their development when they move on,’ he says.
When it comes to recruitment, the bigger firms clearly benefit from their superior profile and hitting power when it comes to salary and benefits. But Knapp firmly believes that the smaller firms have a great deal to offer in terms of experience, levels of responsibility and recognition. ‘The firm is small enough that their work is recognised and acknowledged and that acknowledgement is a very positive aspect of working life.’
‘By the third year, you could be an assignment leader, dealing with the client, the managing partner and your team. That’s quite a tough role,’ he says, adding that the firm’s trainees seem to relish the challenge.
More work and more jobs. The employment market for accountants at all levels and from all disciplines has been revitalised. And the gentle upturn in the UK economy has contributed to a growing sense that trainee accountants are no longer a ‘nice to have’ but essential to the growth of a firm.
With past cut backs in the number of training contracts being offered well and truly over, competition for partly qualified and qualified accountants is steep. PQs should in theory be in a strong position to negotiate better terms.
So if you are working in the world of practice, how does life compare between the small, medium and large firms? Pass asked the biggest - PricewaterhouseCoopers - and mid-tier firm Kingston Smith what they had to offer in terms of benefits, experience, exposure to senior clients and career development (see panel). We also talked to training partner Alan Knapp at Docklands-based small firm Littlejohn Frazer about the small firm experience.
On pay, there were some interesting differentiators. At PwC an ACA trainee would join (in London) on £23,500, while Kingston Smith offers £20,000 to £22,000. At PwC, that trainee will find their salary rise to £25,000 after 15 months. On qualification they would get a healthy hike in salary, up to £30,500. At Kingston Smith, a third-year trainee might already reach £29,000 during their third year.
In terms of training support, PwC like other big firms has a dedicated professional qualifications group, there to coach trainees through their first years, along with assistance from line managers and coaches. Kingston Smith offers a buddy systems as well as deploying senior staff as trainers and mentors. Both firms say they are committed to giving trainees a healthy level of responsibility throughout their three year contract.
And the bigger firms and the mid-tier are not the only ones offering well-rounded training contracts with good exposure to household name clients at senior level.
Alan Knapp says corporate governance measures like Sarbanes Oxley have in some cases conflicted the Big Four out of work, resulting in complex and varied work filtering down to smaller firms like Littlejohn Frazer. He says financial services in particular offers quite high levels of responsibility and varied experience, with taxation and accounting staff working closely together. This is good news, he says, as it gives trainees early exposure to the ways in which corporate governance issues can resonate throughout a client’s business.
He cites IFRS as an example. The massive amount of work involved will hone analytical skills and will also see accountants interpreting information and communicating the changes to clients at board level.
Even where trainees are working on apparently more day to day issues - helping clients with management accounting issues or payroll, for instance - means that they can gain a real breadth of experience and interact with senior clients. This kind of work also has the benefit of providing a career path for the trainees post qualification. The firm doesn’t keep all its trainees on once they have qualified and a number find their way to posts at client companies.
‘If you have someone who is a year three assignment leader - they are in the face of the client, demonstrating strong technical skills and team leadership skills. It’s quite a testament to their development when they move on,’ he says.
When it comes to recruitment, the bigger firms clearly benefit from their superior profile and hitting power when it comes to salary and benefits. But Knapp firmly believes that the smaller firms have a great deal to offer in terms of experience, levels of responsibility and recognition. ‘The firm is small enough that their work is recognised and acknowledged and that acknowledgement is a very positive aspect of working life.’
‘By the third year, you could be an assignment leader, dealing with the client, the managing partner and your team. That’s quite a tough role,’ he says, adding that the firm’s trainees seem to relish the challenge.
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
~~~~~"You are not alone"~~~~~
Another day has gone
I 'm still all alone
How could this be
You're not here with me
You never said goodbye
How could this be
You're not here with me
You never said goodbye
Someone tell me why
Did you have to go
And leave my world so cold
Everyday I sit and ask myself
How did love slip away
Something whispers in my ear and says
That you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
But you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
But you are not alone
'Lone, 'lone
Why, 'lone
Just the other night
I thought I heard you cry
Asking me to come
And hold you in my arms
I can hear your prayers
Your burdens I will bear
But first I need your hand
Then forever can begin
Everyday I sit and ask myself
How did love slip away
Something whispers in my ear and says
That you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
For you are not alone
Whisper three words and I'll come runnin'
And girl you know that I'll be there
I'll be there
You are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
For you are not alone...
Yan Er :Remember no matter what happen,you are not alone,we will always there for you.
Monday, January 31, 2005
Who Controls YOUR Happiness?
By Dr. David L. Thomas, LMHC
Where does happiness fit on a scale of 1 to 10 in your life?
Is that a silly question?
Who's in control of your happiness??
Well, if you want to maintain continued happiness in light of difficult moments then start by identifying your thinking. Often this means that some of the way you think about certain things may need to change.
Change is difficult for many people, especially when it involves changing a behavior that you have practiced over and over again (such as drinking, smoking, overeating, etc.) And with the change often comes strong emotion.
But human beings have a wonderful ability to change how they feel by changing how they think. So how do you know what feelings to change, and aren't we SUPPOSED to feel certain emotions in light of the situations we experience?
The answer is yes, and no. Yes, it is inevitable that we will experience emotions in relation to life events. And no: how we feel is determined by how we think about these events.
Feelings are like the weather, an ongoing part of life, which will change when the right conditions present themselves. They are neither good nor bad, they just are.
Rain exists because atmospheric conditions are right for this event to happen.
Feelings exist because of the thoughts you have in relation to the events in your life. Certain thoughts create uncomfortable feelings and other types of thoughts create feelings of joy, contentment, and happiness.
The question is not whether you should have feelings, but rather are the feelings I'm experiencing helping me to achieve my goal(s) or are they hindering this process?
Generally speaking, feelings of anger, anxiety, depression, and guilt tend to produce behaviors that hinder our life goals. That's why we want to change them. Not because they are intrinsically good or bad, not because we shouldn't feel them, but simply because they tend to interfere with having our wants and desires met.
Like the weather, if conditions are right, it rains. If the thoughts are right for anxiety, you will experience anxiety. If the thoughts are right for depression, then depression it is. Fortunately for all of us, altering atmospheric conditions is much more difficult than altering our thoughts.
Although changing thoughts is not easy at times, it is much more controllable when you are taught how, then practice.
Anger, anxiety, depression, and guilt are what we refer to as the 4 Blocks to Happiness. Anxiety, for instance, tends to produce behaviors such as avoidance, isolation, self-medicating (drinking, drugging, and overeating) and many negative physiological changes.
These may include lack of concentration, memory loss, muscle tension, headaches, diarrhea or other bowel disorders. Unless you find benefit in experiencing these symptoms, these are why we want to change these feelings. They are uncomfortable, and not goal oriented.
Anxiety does not help us get what we want. Finally, feelings are similar to a weather barometer. They are the gauge to whether we are on track, enjoying our lives, achieving our goals, keeping us out of conflict with others, and preserving our life and limb.
We WANT to experience emotion. Lots of intense, as well as, moderate feelings. "It is not the idea that my son is doing well and enjoying his life, but truly how I feel about him enjoying his life. It is the happiness I feel watching him grow, mature, and find meaning to his existence." The feeling is the reward for our action, it is what we as humans seek in our day-to-day experience.
Feelings are also the alarm bell, telling us to slow down, seek consult, take another look, or simply work harder. Sometimes we feel we are on a roller coaster: it can be exhilarating and it can also be frightening. You judge for yourself, but remember whatever you are feeling you can change.
Expect progress rather than perfection and the journey will be much more manageable.
Where does happiness fit on a scale of 1 to 10 in your life?
Is that a silly question?
Who's in control of your happiness??
Well, if you want to maintain continued happiness in light of difficult moments then start by identifying your thinking. Often this means that some of the way you think about certain things may need to change.
Change is difficult for many people, especially when it involves changing a behavior that you have practiced over and over again (such as drinking, smoking, overeating, etc.) And with the change often comes strong emotion.
But human beings have a wonderful ability to change how they feel by changing how they think. So how do you know what feelings to change, and aren't we SUPPOSED to feel certain emotions in light of the situations we experience?
The answer is yes, and no. Yes, it is inevitable that we will experience emotions in relation to life events. And no: how we feel is determined by how we think about these events.
Feelings are like the weather, an ongoing part of life, which will change when the right conditions present themselves. They are neither good nor bad, they just are.
Rain exists because atmospheric conditions are right for this event to happen.
Feelings exist because of the thoughts you have in relation to the events in your life. Certain thoughts create uncomfortable feelings and other types of thoughts create feelings of joy, contentment, and happiness.
The question is not whether you should have feelings, but rather are the feelings I'm experiencing helping me to achieve my goal(s) or are they hindering this process?
Generally speaking, feelings of anger, anxiety, depression, and guilt tend to produce behaviors that hinder our life goals. That's why we want to change them. Not because they are intrinsically good or bad, not because we shouldn't feel them, but simply because they tend to interfere with having our wants and desires met.
Like the weather, if conditions are right, it rains. If the thoughts are right for anxiety, you will experience anxiety. If the thoughts are right for depression, then depression it is. Fortunately for all of us, altering atmospheric conditions is much more difficult than altering our thoughts.
Although changing thoughts is not easy at times, it is much more controllable when you are taught how, then practice.
Anger, anxiety, depression, and guilt are what we refer to as the 4 Blocks to Happiness. Anxiety, for instance, tends to produce behaviors such as avoidance, isolation, self-medicating (drinking, drugging, and overeating) and many negative physiological changes.
These may include lack of concentration, memory loss, muscle tension, headaches, diarrhea or other bowel disorders. Unless you find benefit in experiencing these symptoms, these are why we want to change these feelings. They are uncomfortable, and not goal oriented.
Anxiety does not help us get what we want. Finally, feelings are similar to a weather barometer. They are the gauge to whether we are on track, enjoying our lives, achieving our goals, keeping us out of conflict with others, and preserving our life and limb.
We WANT to experience emotion. Lots of intense, as well as, moderate feelings. "It is not the idea that my son is doing well and enjoying his life, but truly how I feel about him enjoying his life. It is the happiness I feel watching him grow, mature, and find meaning to his existence." The feeling is the reward for our action, it is what we as humans seek in our day-to-day experience.
Feelings are also the alarm bell, telling us to slow down, seek consult, take another look, or simply work harder. Sometimes we feel we are on a roller coaster: it can be exhilarating and it can also be frightening. You judge for yourself, but remember whatever you are feeling you can change.
Expect progress rather than perfection and the journey will be much more manageable.
How To Be Happy In Spite Of Your Problems
A year ago, I made a trip to the village of my birth, a small community in the Haitian countryside. I had been away in America for many years, working hard to make my way in the world. I returned now to my island, filled with strange stories to tell: Stories of markets piled with food flown in from around the world, stories of doctors who gave out pills to stop people from eating, and stories of cars so abundant that they clogged the roads and slowed the traffic to the pace of a bicycle.
I told my fellow villagers, “You know, American problems come from having too much, rather than too little. And because of these problems, they have what they call stress.” They couldn’t believe me! They had never heard of stress before and neither had I until I came to this country.
Shortly after returning from my trip, while eating in an expensive restaurant, I watched a woman send a Porterhouse steak back to the chef because it had been cooked medium instead of medium-rare. Later, I watched a man who was dining with her struggle to decide whether to have orange sherbet for dessert and stick to his diet or splurge on an ice cream sundae dripping with caramel and piled with pecans. Does any of this sound familiar?
You are not alone. Many times I am faced with such dilemmas. But I see it as an opportunity to be thankful. How? I imagine a mountain of breadfruit! Do you know what a breadfruit is? You don't often see them in American grocery stores. On the outside, they look a little like a pineapple. But they taste like a tough, extra-starchy potato. As a child, I ate almost nothing but breadfruit.
The folks in my village learned to cook it creatively. We boiled it, we fried it, and we beat it to a pulp and dipped it in sauce. But every day it was breadfruit. My tongue grew so accustomed to breadfruit that I ceased to taste it at all. I ate it only for survival. My stomach was perpetually bloated as it struggled to digest all the starch. I suffered from constant indigestion, and parasites regularly invaded my weakened digestive system.
Have you seen those children on CNN or the Sally Struthers commercials? How did you feel watching the naked children with swollen tummies and skeletal arms, ignoring the flies crawling on their faces? Well, that's what I looked like in my village in Haiti. Most people assumed I would die before I reached adulthood. They even told me so.
So when my steak arrives a little too well cooked, or I have to choose between ice cream and sherbet, I give thanks to God for the great fortune I've had in America. When was the last time you took a moment out of your busy schedule to give thanks for all that you have? Do you cry for what you don’t have? Or do you celebrate what you have? Gratitude is the gateway to happiness.
It is impossible to be grateful and unhappy at the same time. I bet you enjoy helping out a grateful child—one who is always thanking you and praising you for your generosity. Well, that’s the way your creator feels, too. Stop and count your blessings!
I wish you incredible success!
Rene Godefroy
I told my fellow villagers, “You know, American problems come from having too much, rather than too little. And because of these problems, they have what they call stress.” They couldn’t believe me! They had never heard of stress before and neither had I until I came to this country.
Shortly after returning from my trip, while eating in an expensive restaurant, I watched a woman send a Porterhouse steak back to the chef because it had been cooked medium instead of medium-rare. Later, I watched a man who was dining with her struggle to decide whether to have orange sherbet for dessert and stick to his diet or splurge on an ice cream sundae dripping with caramel and piled with pecans. Does any of this sound familiar?
You are not alone. Many times I am faced with such dilemmas. But I see it as an opportunity to be thankful. How? I imagine a mountain of breadfruit! Do you know what a breadfruit is? You don't often see them in American grocery stores. On the outside, they look a little like a pineapple. But they taste like a tough, extra-starchy potato. As a child, I ate almost nothing but breadfruit.
The folks in my village learned to cook it creatively. We boiled it, we fried it, and we beat it to a pulp and dipped it in sauce. But every day it was breadfruit. My tongue grew so accustomed to breadfruit that I ceased to taste it at all. I ate it only for survival. My stomach was perpetually bloated as it struggled to digest all the starch. I suffered from constant indigestion, and parasites regularly invaded my weakened digestive system.
Have you seen those children on CNN or the Sally Struthers commercials? How did you feel watching the naked children with swollen tummies and skeletal arms, ignoring the flies crawling on their faces? Well, that's what I looked like in my village in Haiti. Most people assumed I would die before I reached adulthood. They even told me so.
So when my steak arrives a little too well cooked, or I have to choose between ice cream and sherbet, I give thanks to God for the great fortune I've had in America. When was the last time you took a moment out of your busy schedule to give thanks for all that you have? Do you cry for what you don’t have? Or do you celebrate what you have? Gratitude is the gateway to happiness.
It is impossible to be grateful and unhappy at the same time. I bet you enjoy helping out a grateful child—one who is always thanking you and praising you for your generosity. Well, that’s the way your creator feels, too. Stop and count your blessings!
I wish you incredible success!
Rene Godefroy
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